Sunday, September 27, 2009
Peace will Come Again
Last night I started to get a headache and my imagination started to get the best of me. I thought to myself, "Why am I getting a headache? Is my head bursting at the seems with pus?" My biggest fear is that I fall asleep forever without even having a chance to say goodbye. These are some of the crippling thoughts that come with this reality. I start sweating with anxiety, I am in a dark hole. Somehow God manages to put my mind in a better place. God is always there for me. I am able to make it back to positive land. God is healing me. God is protecting me. I believe in miracles. My body is strong. I will have peace once again in this life.
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Maria, I'm so sorry that you've had such a rough go of it. Second surgery - yikes! I think one of the hard things about coming out the other side of a major medical situation is: what symptoms do I pay attention to? I struggle with trying to figure that out at times -- am trying to go with the gut!
ReplyDeleteI do believe you will have peace again. In the first few months post-craniotomy when it was so rough, my mom would say, "when you're an old woman, you'll look back on this as a bump in the road." Well, she's prone to understatement and I think I'll always perceive this madness of my life as more than a bump. But, you get the idea. I think you have a promising future which you'll navigate with a much deeper compassion and understanding for the human condition than most folks.
Take good care.