Alone

I cant stand being alone. Before all this I used to relish it. But now it is plain terrifying. I find great solace in the company of others. I find that when I am alone I am prone to obsessing about my problems. My friends and family are a huge part of why I am going to survive this. I am so greatful for all the wonderful people in my life. Right now I am alone and terrified, alone with my thoughts. I guess it is just the day, having had the MRI today. Not being able to read the radiologists face. They are sworn to secrecy. Today, right now in this moment, I am in a bad place. I want to cry. I am crying. I feel overwhelmed. Not the first time, wont be the last. My friend Barbara should be here soon. I know I will feel a lot better when she gets here. Cant wait for life to get a little better.