The Neurosurgeon Appt of 5/13/10

Well here it is:

- My surgery is tentatively scheduled for June 23, 2010.
- There is no tumor regrowth.
- There is residual tumor in a dangerous spot which needs to be removed.
- It will be hard to get to.
- It will be a 4 to 5 hour surgery.
- My neuro is confident he can get all the residual safely.
- He will patch up the hole in my skull in the same surgery.
- I will be in the hospital after the surgery for about a week.
- Recovery time is approximately 2 months if all goes well.
- May need some physical therapy.

I asked my Neuro if I would be alright and he had to tell me that there were risks as there are with any brain surgery. He mentioned somethings like I may have right sided weakness and problems remembering words. To what degree, it's anyone's guess. Of course anything can happen. It's the brain. He also said to me "We can do the surgery while your awake". He wasn't joking. I told him I would do whatever would be best for my life and the success of the surgery. I guess he saw the look of terror in my eyes. But he said that it wont be necessary. They are going to put me under.

I know what its like coming out of surgery and it sucks. Your in pain and nauseous and you cant do anything for yourself and you cant really move even if your really uncomfortable among many other things. And the best thing is you get to wonder what works and doesn't work. If I can wonder when I get out of this surgery then I will be happy because that means i'm not a vegetable. You ask yourself all the questions that one would ask in my predicament.

I'm literally banking on everything going well. I have a mortgage already approved and intend to close on a condo on June 1st. I tell ya, i'm really livin' on the edge! And you know what, IT FEELS GOOD. It's also terrifying all at the same time.

I've never been a gambling (wo)man, but look at me now! It's like playing Russian Roulette! Are ya feelin' lucky? Yeah, i'll try my luck!