Well what I have to look forward to:
- MRI Results in May 2010
- Whatever the results may be it will mean:
a. Surgery in the month of may
b. Getting my head cut even further back then the original incision.
c. Having additional skull cut and removed and replaced with some molding clay
d. Having the surgeon fish around in my brain for rogue tumor pieces (the Neurosurgeon mentioned that he had to leave some of the tumor behind from the 1st surgery because it was in a vital area of the brain that is too dangerous to touch :-) so he is cutting additional skull to possibly reach in that dangerous area from a better angle.
e. Guessing what is going to function and not function on my body or in my mind after surgery, if I will be lucid, If I will be myself, If I will be disabled. If I will survive the surgery, If I will have a good quality of life, If I will live.
f. Wondering what I will be in for if I'm lucky enough to make it to recovery because recovery is always fun.
Is that enough of a load for someone to be carrying on their plate? I get to carry that poison for thought around for an additional 2 months! I sure hope that I dont murder someone within these 2 months because I am really stressed. I feel like these are my last days. I'm going insane. I'm going out of my mind. I'm going kookoo. I'm miserable.
To all of my friends and supporters who read this, I give you a big sincere Thank you. I appreciate every single comment of encouragement and support that you leave here on my blog, send me in an email, in a phone conversation or even a visit.
To all you friends (and all you cowards know who you are) who have decided to drop me because you were too scared to ride out the rough waters with me SCREW YOU! Well, I really don't mean that.....but have fun living with that decision for the rest of your life! and may your friends never abandon you when the chips are down like you have done to me.
GOODBYE!
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I won't abandon you. Even If I am just reading along and keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI know you won't Jim. You have been here since the beginning. I consider you family and a great friend. Your support has been so wonderful and uplifting for my broken weary spirit.
ReplyDeleteTried to post a comment earlier and got an error message. Trying again to say I'm sorry for all you're going through. I had a meningioma removed in 2006 and now have another or scar tissue. But I'm doing well and hope you will soon have much better news. Hold on to your anger. You deserve it and it will give you strength.
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