I am so angry this happened to me. How could you give me such a wonderful, free and independent life only now to be so limited and jeopardized. My life has been one tumultuous piece of crap after the next. I am really really sad and these mind altering anti-seizure drugs i'm sure are some of the cause besides knowing that I have one more surgery to go. I'm just sayin to all you people out there complaining about having to work too much, or being too exhausted to take care of your children or family, or even your own life, well try doing it while your health is comprimised and in danger. You give it a shot when your licensed has been revoked, try going to work then, holding on to your health insurance and paying the bills. Try not worrying yourself to insanity.
Be thankful for your health and never take life for granted because you never know what is going to happen to you or your loved ones. Look at me now, I am in some serious shit. I am fighting for my life and I have no idea what my life is going to become. My relationship is strained and my family suffers along with me. So much anger and I dont know what to do with it. So much stress and I cant handle it. So much anxiety and I cant deal with it. The once joyous life I had is gone.
There I said it. My pity party is done and over for now and I can move on.
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It's OK to be angry. It is probably healthy. I don't have any recomendations on what to do with the anger. Someone used to have me whack a leather couch with a plastic baseball bat. I don't know if that did anything, but he got paid for that (the plastic baseball bat was probably a business expense). It sounds like you were right and the doctor was wrong about discontinuing that medicine. That's probably not the first time that has happened and it won't be the last. I hope you get some help from your sister with doctors and hospitals and all that. You have more than enough to deal with.
ReplyDeleteMaria, anger is a very important, healthy part of trauma resolution. Congratulations, you are on your way to emotional recovery. Hang in there (trite and cliché, I know), you will get past this. I am a nine year meningioma survivor(two surgeries, 10-day coma). Your body will adjust to the meds and if not, make them try another one that has less side effects. I don't know why we have to go through these things, but I do know God will help you through it and when you are on the other side you will realize His goodness.
ReplyDeleteThank you James and CDouglas for your comments. They are all i've got now. I need every ounce of optimism I can get. I thank you both for just that. I am just scared to death right now. Scared to death.
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