HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2010!

My best friend Barbara, her husband, her sister-in-law and I had a blast on Halloween's Eve.  We went to a club that night and everyone was dressed up for Halloween.  They had a contest for best Halloween costume.  I thought for sure that Brian's German Bar Maid costume was going to win......that was till I saw Mount Rushmore...lol!

The Flower Child, the Witch, and the Diva

Here is Barbara's husband the German Bar Maid being dainty and polite, lol!

I was asked if I was Donna Summer, Chaka Kahn and Diana Ross!

My BFF Barbara - the Flower Child

Me as a Disco Diva

My sister Bizzy who is pregnant with her 2nd!

My sister Aimeé and I

Mount Rushmore in the background!  Best costume ever!

Mount Rushmore and I

The German Bar Maid and I

Thriving and Loving life!

Wouldn't let it take my beauty!

Intensity

Back in the gym!

See me shine!

Fearless

New Condo Pics - God is GOOD!

This Condo is my little slice of heaven and sanctuary.

A New Beginning

I am really enjoying my life and some well deserved relief! Whew! I went to a haunted house in NYC on Wednesday night. It was AWESOME. I went pumpkin picking with my sister Rosanna (who took these awesome pics, she is a photographer) my sister Bizzy, her husband and their baby which is my nephew. Bizzy graciously let me stay at her home while I was disabled and drove me around everywhere and basically took care of me. She is a great sister. My older sister Aimee took me to doctors appointments and was there after every surgery to comfort me when I cried out for her. I am really blessed.

From the Ashes

I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. What the heck just happened? Was that some horrendous nightmare I just had?! I am finally free! I have made it! I made it through the storm! I am so happy. I am BEYOND happy! I return to work the day after tomorrow, Thursday, September 23rd. Now it's back to beautiful life like I have never known it before. I used to get angry and be miserable at trivial things. But now every time I remember how close I came to being disabled and/or dead....a big smile of relief comes onto my face....and I THANK GOD! I am so humbled. I have a whole new perspective on life...just how precious it is. Life is a gift. I am lucky to be alive to be able to experience the good and the bad in life. I should be so lucky to be able to be alive to have problems like the car breaking down, or not being able to pay the bills. There is ALWAYS a reason to live. ALWAYS. LIFE IS A GIFT. I couldn't of made it through without support. So thank you all for your loving support. I am so excited to get back to life.

GOD = LOVE.............LOVE = GOD

WELL THAT'S MY MENINGIOMA STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT.
THE END - EXIT STAGE LEFT

Vanessa Daou - If I could

100% Recovery

Well I am just about 100% and ready to go back to work. I plan to go back to work on 9/23/10 on a part time basis then after a week we'll see how I feel about going back full-time.

I have been living on my own for a month now. My condo is splendid. I feel right at home in my little nook in the world.

My dad bought me a 47 inch Samsung LED flat screen TV!
My younger sister Bizzy bought me an entertainment center!
My older sister Aimee bought me a computer desk!
and my Best Friend Barbara bought me a blu-ray player!

How lucky am I?

I thank God everyday for EVERYTHING. For my amazing recovery, for my condo, for life itself! And most importantly I thank him for my family, my best friend Barbara and her husband Brian and all those who stuck by me. THANK YOU ALL AND THANK YOU GOD SO MUCH. I am amazed by Gods benevolence. My life is really coming together now
:-)

Finally an Update

Hey Everyone,
I have not had internet access for a while and have been busy moving into my new condo. Here's the latest progress:

- I can drive :-)
- I continue to get stronger everyday
- I am continuing with Physical Therapy
- I am stressed out waiting to find out if my incision is going to be infected or heal nicely.
- I no longer limp when I walk. I meld in nicely with the general population.
- I will follow up with my Neurosurgeon on 8/31/10.

That's all for now.

Donna, thank you very much for the card and your concern.

Right Arm Restored

Friday night my right arm decided to come back to action :-) It is still clumsy but I definitely have a lot more range of motion and can actually maneuver it well. I am naturally left handed and tend to be clumsy with my right hand as it is. However, my physical therapist told me that I should eat with my right hand and do as much as I could with my right hand to stimulate the brain/arm connection. I'm thinking that's what did it.

Now I'm just waiting for the ankle to come back to life. BTW, I'm walking without the cane AND the brace. I walk with a bit of a limp but at the rate I am healing I have 100% faith that these things will restore as well. Plus I need to be able to drive! I have no side to side ankle movement. Up and down ankle movement is improving everyday. I can't wiggle my toes either but being so far from the brain these things are the LAST to come to life.

I'm Back from the Dead

Phew! Glad I made it out of that one! 7 hour brain surgery followed by vomiting all over myself in NICU through the night. Followed by RAGE at my right side being paralyzed. I came out of surgery pale as a ghost and speaking Spanish and French. About a week later I was sent to JFK Rehab in Edison, NJ to learn how to walk again. Let me tell you it has been HELL but I am so freakin happy to be alive! You get out of Physical Therapy what you put into it. 25 days ago I could not move my R side at all. Now, I am back at my sisters walking around with a leg brace and a cane. I am expected to make a 100% recovery. I get stronger everyday. My stuff has been moved into my condo courtesy of Bizzy, Rosie and friends. I am very optimistic about the future.

OMG - DAY OF SURGERY

ITS 5:15AM AND I'M GONNA LEAVE FOR THE HOSPITAL IN 15 MINUTES.

THIS IS SURREAL. I CANT BELIEVE I'M GONNA DO THIS AGAIN.

WORST PART: COMING OUT OF SURGERY

2ND: ANTICIPATING THE SURGERY FOR MONTHS, WEEKS, DAYS

3RD: BEGINNING OF RECOVERY

4TH: PAIN AND DISCOMFORT

5TH: ANXIETY

ALRIGHT WELL I'M SIGNING OUT.

NEXT TIME I POST WILL PROBABLY BE IN A WEEK OR SO.

LOVE,
MARIA

The Day is Finally Here

I've been waiting an entire year for this day (6/23/10). I am every emotion that exists all in one right now. But three emotions that are prominent are excitement, optimism and relief; as this horrific chapter in my life is coming to an end.

I have such a beautiful future ahead of me. Just this last hurdle and then it's a glorious life for me.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS AND OPTIMISM.

IM GONNA DO THIS, READY TO FIGHT, FEARLESS AND DETERMINED. I MEAN BUSINESS. THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TIME AT THE RODEO! (MY FAVORITE LINE FROM MOMMY DEAREST)

I have to be at the hospital at 7am for an MRI and then I will be rolled into surgery at 8:30am. I will be in the hospital for only a week God willing and then will recover anywhere from 4 to 8 weeks at my sister Bizzy's house. I anticipate returning to work on August 24th, 2010.

Unlike my first two recoveries, this will be a smooth recovery, I can feel it in my gut and we all know what that means, it means that God is telling me so.

All right party people, let's do this! This story is over. I'll see you on the other side (the other side of this surgery that is).

One Red Eye

I went to the gym yesterday. I was working out a bit harder than usual, probably more than I should have been. I had to stop half-way through because I started to get symptoms of fatigue like some mild shaking, nausea and dizziness. So with that came on the anxiety. I left the gym and went home. I had to take a xanax in the car I was so stressed. Then you start thinking, "I hope I can make it home, I hope I dont have a seizure in the car and crash it, etc." So many horrific scenarios go through your mind and with that creates more anxiety.

So I get home and notice the white of my left eye is really very red. The right one was white like normal. So here I go in my head, thinking what is happening here? Is it a hemorrhage in my brain caused by lifting too heavy? The anxiety was so bad that I had to call my dad because I was so scared. Then I started to feel light headed. Right before I went to bed I looked at my eye and it was even more red. I cried a bit and prayed to God and attempted to go to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep because I kept twitching and was hoping that I wouldn't die in my sleep. I wish that someone was there to comfort me. But there wasn't. It was just God and I. Then I got this horrible feeling of doom and terror. It was around 1am and I just had to talk to someone. So I called my sister Aimee. She didn't answer probably because she was working. So I just stood my ground like a warrior and tried to think good thoughts.

As you've seen in a previous post, i've gone for weeks feeling so close to 100% and really enjoying my life. The prospect of regressing is devastating. I just want to have normal worries and concerns like having enough money to pay the mortgage. Whenever something weird happens to my body, like the appearance of a single red eye, you can't help but say to yourself in so many words, "oh God, I dont want to die!" Because that's the bottom line. I've never been this paranoid before and I would think that it's gonna take some time for this anxiety and paranoia to go away.

I hope they will proceed with surgery with this red eye. I woke up this morning thankfully and had no pillow under my head. My pillow was pushed to the other side of the bed. I wonder what happened in my sleep? Did I have a seizure or did I just jerk really hard, or was I thrashing? Before all this brain tumor crap I would have just laughed at that and said "boy I must have been dreaming hard". But now, it's a new world.

Maybe it's this surgery that is slowly but surely trinkleing towards me that is causing all these things. I dont know anymore. Im tired. I'm tired of having to be strong all the time. I would like someone else to take over being the strong one for me. I know I am incredibly strong but even I need a break sometimes.

Anyway, it's the next day, Saturday, June 19, 2010 and my eye is still very red. Pray for me.

P.S. I HATE ALL OF THIS!

It's Official, I'm a homeowner!

Yep! that's right. I closed on my condo on Friday, June 18, 2010. Made it just in time before my surgery. That is a big load off my shoulders.

Hers